


Mulan & Kinky-Pinky

by Tracer



Series: RWBY: The Sitcom Edition [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: AU, Dinner Party, Dramedy, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Minor seamonkeys, Sitcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tracer/pseuds/Tracer
Summary: “EAT OR BE EATEN.”“Oh hell no, don’t quote spongebob, you’re ruining the show for me.” Yang complains.“You ruined it for me when you dressed as sexy Patrick last Halloween!” Pinky argues.“What the—are you stalking me?”“More or less?”...Starring:Yang and Blake as a secret coupleWeiss as the pushy friendRuby as the jealous schemerFeaturing:The rest of the gang as bad peopleExcept Pyrrha, cuz Pyrrha is best girl





	Mulan & Kinky-Pinky

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this doesn’t suck lol

When Weiss Schnee asks you to be her girlfriend, you can’t say no. Even if it’s fake. And even if she’s threatening eviction—you just do it. Well you do it mostly because you owe her for that one night…

.

.

.

“Ugh!”

Yang looks up from her strange yet comforting position on her yoga mat to find Weiss Schnee pacing back and forth. Weiss came barging through the front in which she demands only she can use. She’s home from work and normally she’d be stressing about it and complaining to Yang or Ruby about corporal incompetence by now, but when the heiress starts pacing—they know it’s more of a personal issue.

“You alright there?” Yang asks the heiress. “Also where’s Ruby?”

“Just fine! And I don’t know, night classes maybe?” Weiss replies angrily, not necessarily at Yang though.

Yang makes a questionable look from between her stretches. She doesn’t compromise her yoga time to soothe out the angles of this conversation, but she does track her friend’s odd pacing across the luxurious home that of Weiss Schnee’s.

Yang moved in with Weiss about three years ago when she got her first big break as an actress and now she’s one of Hollywood’s biggest names. The heiress didn’t mind the company, in fact she enjoyed having the girl around since corporate life could get a little frustrating. Ruby joined in about a year ago after she came back from travelling. Since then, it’s been the three of them and Weiss’ LA mansion in Vale.

“How was work?” Yang tries again.

“Horrible!” Weiss paces. “I signed the contract with Vale Times and offered to host the fundraiser for the new children’s hospital and my assistant reminded me about a corporate dinner this weekend with major investors and my ex is going to be there!” Weiss complains.

“Two out of three of those aren’t actually horrible. And the one that is horrible isn’t even that bad.” Yang says, stretching her left quad. “Besides aren’t you like way over Neptune? You broke up with him like three years ago.”

Weiss stops pacing and glares at Yang for the first time in this conversation. “I am, it’s just I was talking to him a couple weeks ago and I might’ve said something?”

Yang’s brow goes up and she asks, “like?”

“He was trying to get back with me and I maybe have told him a tiny lie?” Weiss obviously trying to find a way around whatever she did. Yang’s lilacs tell her to continue and spill. “We were out drinking with some friends and I was a little drunk so I may have exaggerated some things.”

“What’d you do?” Yang accuses.

“I told him I couldn’t date him because I was in a serious relationship with a—and I quote—' _super fiery hot actress twenty levels above you Neptune_ ’. I might’ve been referring to you.” Weiss slumps thinking this is the part where Yang yells at her for her stupidity but instead the blonde laughs.

Yang stands up straight only to bend over laughing. Weiss fumes from her spot in the kitchen lounge.

“No!” she questions.

Weiss flushes in embarrassment. “Yes!”

“So what?” Yang asks after her laughter dies out.

“I was drunk and upset because my dad was a jerk at the time and Neptune was being annoying and you were the first person I thought of that would really sell it!” Weiss facepalms.

Yang laughs at the heiress’ dilemma. “You shouldn’t go around lying about these things you know. Especially since I have a girlfriend now.” She thinks about golden irises and shy smiles, she thinks about Blake.

Weiss shakes her head in her own disappointment to uphold her standards. “The dinner party’s this weekend—Yang what am I gonna do? He’s going to think I’m a liar and a fraud and a bad person!” She draws Yang’s attention once more.

Yang doesn’t respond right away, instead she marches over to the heiress’ refrigerator and pulls out a cold jug of lemonade. With a couple of gulps down, the blonde wipes her mouth and shrugs.

“Seppuku?”

“Yang!”

“I don’t know! Why does it matter what he thinks—you’ve moved on, he’s sort-of moved on? How important is this party anyways?”

“Think of it as Atlas’, Vale’s, Vacuo’s AND Menagerie’s biggest CEOs and public figures meeting up for a dinner disguised as a meeting!” Weiss says. “The topic is civil rights and the New Vacuo.”

“Huh. That’s sounds like something my girlfriend would like. And it sounds important.” Yang says.

“Yang! I got an idea!” Weiss jumps up, her expression lighter and mood better. She’s known the girl long enough to know Weiss’ mind is complex but it wasn’t complicated. The girl had a readable thinking process, however reading her mind just took a lot of effort.

“Nooooo—"

“Be my girlfriend.” Weiss says seriously and it takes everything for Yang not to laugh.

“Buy my dinner first. And a dog. And a house. And buy my sister a house. And when you’re done with that, I’ll think about it.” She rejects.

“I’m being serious here!” Weiss whines. “Well not serious-serious, I mean fake girlfriend for one night.” Weiss steals the bottle from her hand and wipes the rim clean of Yang’s germs. “It’s only one night, this Saturday.”

“No.” Yang declines. “I promised I’d go somewhere with Blake this Saturday.”

“Oh c’mon, you hang out with her literally everyday you’re not filming.”

Yang looks up down and points her eyes to Weiss. “I’m here aren’t I?”

Weiss scoffs. “You’re only here because you live here. Which by the way is my house.”

“Touché.” Yang replies. Weiss glares at her and she pretends to rethink her words. “I love you, don’t kick me out?” She feigns for forgiveness.

“Yang, do me this favor and I won’t kick you out.” Weiss says.

“You wouldn’t kick me out even if I told you I was the one that ruined your painting of Winter.” Yang mumbles. She’s glad Weiss doesn’t pay complete attention to her all the time. “But I already promised Blake I’d go to this thing with her, she is really looking forward to it.” Yang says honestly.

Weiss doesn’t frown. No she doesn’t because she doesn’t take her friend’s rejection as a no. Sure she’s definitely over Neptune and all, but she wasn’t a liar—or at least she didn’t want to come off as one. That would ruin her chances at getting the SDC back to higher grounds if Neptune tells everyone she’s a crazy drunken liar.

She had too much pride back then and now she’s reaping what she sow. She thinks about asking someone else, but no one comes to mind other than Ruby. And Ruby at parties can be a little…well let’s not resort to that. Not only that, Ruby doesn’t pass for an super-hot actress at all. Maybe a super cute and adorkable certified genius engineer.

Weiss knows one thing that will get the blonde to do anything for her.

“Columbia-Vegas night!” Weiss jumps.

At the words of the Heiress, Yang’s eyes go wide with surprise and her mouth opens as a gasp falls out of her lips. “Seriously? For this?” Yang shakes her. “Weiss—I told you, that’s for emergencies!”

“This is an emergency! It’s a social emergency!” Weiss argues.

“You can’t be serious. Columbia-Vegas night should not be used like this!”

Weiss huffs her chest and her hands fall onto her hips commandingly. “Well I’m calling it in and you better get fitted for a dress because you’re going to be my date this weekend.”

Yang stares at her like she’s crazy and Weiss is wondering if she is. “There are so many problems here I can’t even.”

“Like what?” Weiss asks.

“One: what if rumors spread that we’re together, the world already gives me a lot of crap about me dating my co-stars. It’ll be bad for your company and bad for my acting career!” Yang says.

“Actually, it wouldn’t be bad for either of us—seeing as the half the media world knows you and I are friends and both openly bisexual—in fact, this might boost up my stocks—”

“Don’t use my acting career as a status upgrade!” Yang says.

“Okay not the point.” Weiss gets back on topic. “It’s a private corporate party—nothing will get leaked. Ironwood is hosting and he’s a very private person. I doubt there will be any reporters, the guests won’t stoop to gossiping either. They’re more like business sharks who could care less about Hollywood gossip. Besides you two haven’t even gone public yet.”

“Exactly point two: what about Blake? What am I going to tell her? And why can’t you ask Ruby or Nora or Jaune?” Yang asks, waving her hands at this crazy idea.

“Oh boo-hoo Yang! I’m your best friend of twenty years, she’s your girlfriend of two months—whom mind you I have not met yet. Do the math! Best friend trumps girlfriend—cancel on her and tell her a family emergency came up.”

“Ruby is a dolt and will probably give it away in the first two minutes. Nora’s with Ren—everyone knows that! And even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t bring that girl anywhere close to a business meeting. Jaune…just no. And most of all—I told Neptune I was dating an actress. They aren’t actresses.” Weiss shuts down. “Yang please, I never ask you for anything and you’re the only one who knows me well enough to get away with this and you owe me for Columbia-Vegas.”

“Fine, but I ain’t kissing you and I want to be home by eleven.” Yang sighs.

“I find those terms acceptable.” Weiss grins.

And like that, the two friends shook on it. Neither of them noticing the red figure in the background.

.

.

.

Ruby wasn’t a pacer but here she was pacing back in forth in her room. She had overslept and missed her afternoon classes. She woke to the sounds of her best friend and sister lightly arguing. She knew it wasn’t anything serious from their lighthearted bantering, but she was always the curious type. Now she sort of wishes she didn’t listen in on their conversation because now she felt insulted.

She felt insulted that Weiss would rather fake a relationship with her sister instead of her. Even after last Friday night when she mustered up enough courage to ask Weiss out on a midnight stroll through the park. She even almost held her hand! Almost, so close yet so far.

Now the damn heiress was fake cheating on her with her sister in a fake relationship to show-off to her make her ex-boyfriend jealous? There aren’t many things that made Ruby Rose pace but here she is pacing and shoving cookies down faster than Yang drinking whiskey on a celebratory movie night.

“Who does she think she is! Asking Yang instead of me!” She complains particularly to no one but the corgi on her bed. “I totally could’ve kept the secret, I’ve known her for as long as Yang has—and we almost held hands, she totally was going to hold my hand! You know she was!” Ruby shouts, thank Oum for soundproof rooms.  

Zwei tilts his head and his ears flop with him as if asking her if she was making good decisions.

“Oh you know she should’ve asked me over Yang! I’m just as great of a fake girlfriend as Yang! I mean sure she’s an actress and famous and everyone loves her and all, but like…I’m like totally just as cool! I’m an aerospace engineer! That’s like 50 cool points! An—and I won that cookie eating contest in Notre dame last year, I even broke the record! I should be the one going to that dinner party as Weiss’ girlfriend—I mean fake girlfriend of course because you know…we’re not actually dating…yet..”

Zwei blinks and huffs and Ruby thinks to interpret that as a suggestion. A suggestion of rebellion.

“You’re right Zwei, I should go to that dinner!” Ruby picks the poor corgi up and swings him around. “I’ll show Weiss what a great fake girlfriend I can be!” Zwei stares at her blankly but Ruby Rose is a corgi-interpreter. “Of course I have a plan, don’t I always?”

Zwei even whines at this.

“I’ll crash the dinner, tell everyone I’m Weiss’ girlfriend and spread great rumors about our blazing love and future plans to get married and have three children named after some dead relatives or cool color! It’s fool proof like my bed!” Ruby tosses the corgi up and does a celebratory summersault into a makeshift bed. The makeshift bed nearly falls apart on her but somehow manages to still itself. “Oof! See?” Ruby groans.

Ruby likes to think that instead of judging her, Zwei smiles at her plans and supports her. Zwei is her go-to person for all things serious, but when Ruby was really serious about something—she knew who to talk to.

“Hello?” Ruby says into her scroll. “Nora? Get the gang, we got a party to crash! Oh no, it’s not a party-party, it’s like a fancy dinner kind of thing? Think…Weiss’ level of partying—yeahhh.”

.

.

.

“ _I’m sorry babe, it’s this huge family thing that I can’t miss and I forgot it was this weekend_.”

“It’s alright, I get it.” Blake replies sadly. She tries not to let the sadness of her voice fall into her tone, but she was upset because she and Yang had been dating in secret for two months and she wanted to let her best friends and parents meet the girl of her dreams.

She was going to surprise Yang by taking her to her to an event where her close friends and family were all attending this weekend as her date. It was a private and secured event and she wanted to introduce her girlfriend to her friends and family without the lights and cameras the blonde always dealt with. It’s not everyday her parents are in town here in Vale either. Plus she was even giving a speech at the gala.

“ _Blakey, don’t be sad, you can always take me next weekend_?”

Blake sighs into her scroll. “It’s fine, I’m not sad. And I can’t take you next weekend because the event was specific to this weekend. I really wanted you to go.”

She watches her scroll as Yang’s face morphs into one of apology and suddenly she feels bad for putting pressure on the girl. Before she could tell the blonde it really wasn’t that big of an issue, the blonde gets called off by a one of the producers and now she’s telling Blake she has to go.

“ _Crap, I gotta turn my phone off, we’re filming. Continue this later_?”

Blake nods into her facetime. She watches as Yang offers an apologetic grin and waves her off before a stage hand pulls her away from view and the video call ends.

Blake sighs and tosses her scroll on the coffee table. She wasn’t upset and her weekend wasn’t ruined. Her parents were in town and she hadn’t seen them in a while. Granted she’s dateless, but she didn’t really care about that stuff. She’s just happy to have Yang in her life after all the pining they went through the past few months only to struggle with hiding the relationship. It wasn’t easy for Blake to date such a star since she hated anything public and social.

“’Sup. What’s wrong?” Sun walks through her apartment door with grocery bags and his crush of many unrequited years in toll.

Neptune waves and offers her a warm smile.

“What do you mean?”

“You just look more broody than normal.” Sun shrugs as he and Neptune sort out the groceries together as if they’ve done so many times.

Blake wants to take offense to that but honestly, she couldn’t really come up with a good argument against her broody self.

“My girlfriend can’t make the dinner.” Blake sighs into a throw pillow.

“Your imaginary girlfriend can’t make the dinner?! Shocker!” Sun jokes.

It was a running joke among them for a while. Blake had mentioned several times about dating someone and even becoming official but she never told them who. Part of it was because the girl she was dating was one of Hollywood’s biggest movie stars and the other part was simply because she’s a private person. So when she told them she was dating an ex-supermodel turned actress, they laughed. Granted, they were both drunk off their asses from their many parties, but still they laughed.

Since then, they teased Blake about her imaginary girlfriend. To be honest, Blake wasn’t sure if they doubted she had a girlfriend or the fact that her girlfriend was possibly a famous movie star. They were all normal people. At most, Neptune dated an heiress once, but the girl dumped him faster than bananas oxidizing in a box. Sun and him were just detectives while Blake worked as a journalist for the New Vale Times.

Whatever it was, Blake took offense.

“She’s real and she’s not coming.” Blake sighs longingly. Ever the dramatic one she is.

Sun pats her back and takes a seat beside her on the couch, turning the television on like it’s his place. “Aw cheer up Blake! You still get to represent Menagerie with the speech thingy! That’s like the best part at the dinner party—you know, other than free food and rich people gossip.”

Neptune sits beside Sun and they channel surf for something to watch. It was Tuesday night. Tuesday nights are movie nights.

“Yeah I guess that’s pretty awesome too.” Blake’s lips tug up.

“Oh, oh! Go back!” Neptune jumps up from his spot on the couch and steals the remote from Sun’s hand. He flips back a couple of channels and Blake’s met with her favorite object of attention.

The blonde hair, lilac eyes and stunning beauty that is her girlfriend. 

“I love the Dust Chronicles!!” Neptune squeals. “Oh my Oum, could she be any more gorgeous?!”

“Hey man, she’s my cheat-celeb!” Sun slaps his friend’s arm. Blake watches in amusement as neither men know the truth behind her and the blonde on their TV.

“Sorry dude, but you know Yang Xiao Long is my woman crush!” Neptune fangirls. “Besides, you even agreed that if either of us get a cheat-celeb, it’d be with her!”

Blake spits her drink at this one.

They look at her like she’s disturbing peace at a UN meeting.

“Cheat-celeb??”

“We made the pack in a few years ago when her first movie came out. It’s where if you ever run into your cheat-celeb and if they’re into you then no matter what your status is—you can cheat!” Sun explains.

“I’ve seen Dust Wars: The Last Huntress like 50 times.” Neptune says proudly as if that’s his biggest accomplishment.

“Right…” Blake says. “Just surprised you both picked the same cheat-celebrity.”

“Who’d you choose?”

“Oh, uh,” Blake thinks, “same for me I guess.”

Little did they know Blake cheats at least twice a week.

“Okay but if we all run into her—I call dibs!” Neptune determines.

“What—no, I want first dibs!” Sun argues.

“What makes you two think she’d even go for either of you?” Blake may have said with a little more venom to her words than intended. They blink at her and she quickly covers it up. “Isn’t she gay?” Blake asks knowing fully that Yang was actually bi.

Sun and Neptune look from her to each other.

“Probably why neither of us will actually get to use our celebrity-cheat cards.” Sun laughs.

_Better not_. Blake thinks oddly annoyed.

.

.

.

“How do I look?”

“Great.” Weiss replies not actually looking at her friend. “Now put your arm around me and look like you’re in-love with me.” Yang listens to her begrudgingly. “Sell it, like we’re in the middle of a Nikolas Sparks movie.”

Yang didn’t have time to adjust the dress for the event. She previewed the golden dress and decided it was the perfect amount of -umpft the make her ex-boyfriend jealous and the right amount to not attract too much attention, so she had Weiss order it in her size and here they were. Weiss told her not to mind attracting attention, but to make sure it’s not bad attention. When she asked Weiss what classified as bad attention, all the heiress said was to not be a dolt.

Weiss had donned a beautiful light blue gown herself. Yang had to admit, they were stunning.

“What’s the dinner for anyways?” Yang asks, her arm not as awkwardly around Weiss’ waist as she thought it’d be. Thank Oum for Weiss’ five-inch heels.

“It’s just a bi-annual thing where rich people mingle and eat fancy food and talk politics. Think of it as a reason to cause the next world war or to raise stock prices.” Weiss tries to explain while leading them around the event hall. “The topics for this one is New Vacuo, the elections process for the the West council, civil rights, and maintaining world peace.”

The place was held at their very own Vale mayor’s mansion. The place was large, but Yang thinks Weiss’ house easily tripled it in square feet.

“Oh, well let’s not cause the next world war huh?” Yang says.

“Yeah, let’s not.” Weiss almost laughs.

“So what exactly are we going for here?” Yang questions.

“What do you mean?” Weiss asks.

“Like are we doing I’m-here-to-make-your-ex-jealous or like hi-I’m-Weiss’-hot-actress-girlfriend or like am I just bimbo arm candy?” Yang gives her choices.

Weiss rolls her eyes at the thought of any of those.

“Hmm.” She thinks to herself. “A mix between one part aspiring intellectual, one part sexy arm candy and one part graceful princess, and two parts the love of my life but not too lovey because I’m going to tell Neptune I broke up with you in about a month from now.”

“I will accept those terms but I have two questions.” Yang says.

“What?”

“Why are you breaking up with me? I wanna be the one who breaks up with you.” Yang argues.

“That really doesn’t matter, besides it’s not like you’re even friends with him. What else?” Weiss asks.

“Are puns allo—”

“Puns are not allowed.” Weiss says seriously.

They walk to the front of the house and Weiss leads them up some number of stairs before they come face to face with a butler-like man.

“Good evening, name please?”

“Weiss Schnee, plus one.” Weiss answers the doorman politely.

The man looks through a list of names until he grins politely and nods towards them.

“Right this way Ms. Schnee.” The man leads her into the house, telling her politely the party is held in a specific room in the mansion.

Weiss thanks the man as she and Yang walk through the large front doors that lead into the massive event hall. The door leads them into a split spiraling stairway with one sign on each path. One said not to enter and the other on the left said ‘ _event held on first floor only’_ Yang shrugs and walks with Weiss down the left stairway.

The place is well decorated with streamers and red curtain drapes elegantly attached to the ceiling. There was a large beautiful chandelier and Yang wonders if the crystals are real. From the stairway, it peers down into the dinner party and they can see the guests mingling below.

“By the way, why is Neptune attending this party? Isn’t for rich people and public figures only?” Yang asks reasonably.

“His mom is the mayor.” Weiss explains.

“Ohh.” Yang nods. “Makes sense. She got blue hair too?”

“You’d think?” Weiss comments.

“No that’s not in my processor.” Yang jokes. It pays off as Weiss physically relaxes a little and even a small smile tugs on her lips.

“I didn’t know you were equipped with such high tech.”

“Didn’t you read the user’s guide when you rented me?” Yang and her fall into to the party of the buzzing crowd.

“Oh please, you dolts are all the same.” She grins smugly referring to Yang’s sister.

“Rude.” Yang mumbles, following the heiress through the floor of elites.

.

.

.

“I’m shook. I am completely outraged that you are telling me I am not on the guest list! I am the governor of South East Vale!”

The plan was simple. Jaune was to distract the doorman while Nora and Ren distracts the security team, all the meanwhile one Ruby Rose sneaks into the event hall. Plan A was simple at least, plan B was a whole other level.

“Oh my water!” Nora shouts towards the direction of the two security guards standing at attention. Ren holding her back as she pretends to go to the early stages of labor.

Leave it to Ruby to come up with these plans.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” The doorman tells Jaune.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” One of the two security guards approach the couple.

“I think the baby’s coming!” Nora feigns dramatically as Ren holds her hand.

“Now? But what about the dinner?” Ren acts out.

“I’ll have you know I’m not leaving without hearing from the mayor herself!” Jaune argues with the doorman as Ren and Nora pull the attention of the security guards.

“I will call security.” The doorman threatens.

“Here let us help you, Wilson get her some towels and I’ll call emergency care!” The head security guard helps Nora.

“Oh, wow it’s almost half-way pass seven, I gotta jet!” Jaune says.

All the meanwhile a little red Rose snuck into the mansion and towards the event hall.

And so the real night began.

.

.

.

“You got this, you’re going to do great!” Sun reassures her.

“Not helping.” Blake says twirling the drink in her hand.

Her parents had asked Blake to give a speech and here she is at the makeshift bar freaking out over public speaking. It was a simple speech really. Greet the people. Talk about civil rights and awareness.

“Well, you need to chill and relax. Your parents trust you enough to represent their Kingdom, I’d be honored to represent Menagerie!” Sun’s eyes shines at the thought.

“Sun.” Blake says narrowing her eyes.

“Guys!” Neptune comes barging over. “Guess what!”

Blake and Sun look the frantic yet excited blue-haired man as he beams with excitement.

“What?”

“So you guys know my ex-girlfriend Weiss Schnee?” Neptune starts.

They both nod slowly not knowing where the boy was going with this.

“The one who left you after like a week of dating but you two are still like really good friends?” Sun summarizes a little jealousy in his tone Blake notes.

“Yeah, her! She’s great.” Neptune beams and Sun lets out a small jealous slap on his best friend’s arm. “Not as great as you though buddy!”

“Yuck.” Blake mumbles.

“What about her has you all beaming and stuff?” Sun asks confused.

“Well when I first heard Weiss was bringing her girlfriend I was a little upset because you know—me and Weiss are kind of a thing you know?” Neptune’s obliviousness was way worse than when Blake had to deal with an oblivious Yang. Poor Sun. “Until I found out what her girlfriend does!”

Sun and Blake look at each other confused. Reasonably confused.

“Her girlfriend is supposedly an actress! Not only that, I heard some rumors going around the crowd that it’s an actress from the Dust Chronicles!!” Neptune beams and now even Sun is jumping up and down. Blake actually saddens a little bit since the movie series reminded her of her secret girlfriend who couldn’t make the event.

“No way, which one!” Sun asks.

“I don’t know! I’m hoping it’s either Yang, Emerald, Cinder, or Coco!” Neptune says. “They’re the only ones around her age that are from the franchise.”

_Well it ain’t my Yang_. Blake thinks to herself as she takes the first sip to margarita-vill.

“Please let it be Yang or Coco!” Sun begs the ceiling fan gods.

“Let’s go find out! I’ve been meaning to catch up with Weiss, haven’t talk to her since a few weeks ago!” Neptune pulls them back into the loud buzzing party.

Blake doesn’t know why she’s being dragged along but she doesn’t really care. She’s just happy no one has asked her if she was going to run for chief back in Menagerie because her home is here now. She didn’t want to hear anything about the politics either. Hopefully none of that will happen tonight but she knows it’s inevitable with this many public figures.

She follows Neptune and Sun around the crowd of people. They walk around the large white room looking for the heiress of the SDC. It is such a large party and not Blake’s cup of tea at all. She hadn’t even met up with her parents yet. It was a private event luckily so no reporters or of such nonsense. Everyone here was pretty mature in terms of the gossip train too. When the boys stop, Blake looks up to come face to face with a pretty girl with snow-white hair.

The girl wore a beautiful blue gown that matches her icy blue eyes very well. It was contrast to Blake’s darker colored theme going on. She herself had a single-strap dark purple sundress that stopped above her knees.

“Weiss!” Neptune greets the heiress Blake has heard tales about.

“Neptune.” She returns the curt hug with a warm smile. “Hello, I’m Weiss.” Weiss introduces herself to her and Sun.

“I’ve heard stories about you ice queen!” Sun teases the girl like they’re practically friends already before introducing Blake. “This is my best friend, Blake!”

Weiss’ smile falters at the sound of her name, but it disappears so quickly, Blake is sure she imagined it. “Blake? Lovely name.” Weiss smiles her way.

“I heard you brought your actor girlfriend, trying to steal the party Schnee?” Neptune jokes in good heart.

Weiss pulls a smug smile. “Like I could steal the limelight from your blue hair.”

“If anything you’re doing us a huge favor. We’re like the biggest fans of the Dust Chronicles! Which you already know since you got me a signed poster for my birthday last year.” Neptune says.

“Where is she anyways?” Sun asks, eagerness showing through his brimming eyes.

“Oh she’s right over—”

Blake sees golden locks of hair and it doesn’t hit her yet. The familiar confidence that the woman beside Weiss carried herself belonged to someone she knew. Yet it didn’t hit her until the girl spoke. Even when her eyes glaze over the beautiful golden dress that hugs the girl’s body too damn well.

“There you are babe.” A golden haired beauty slots herself between Weiss and Neptune and even plants a loving kiss on the heiress’ cheek, and now Blake is thinking ways to get away with punching an heiress. “I got you a virgin mai tai, but if you want alcohol you can have my strawberry sunrise—oh hello, I’m Weiss’ girlfriend, you must be Neptune and?” The honey silk voice says, handing Weiss Schnee a drink and continuing to wrap her arm around the heiress and Blake thinks she can taste blood from biting her lip.

“Y-y-yeah. You’re—amazing, I—uh we are huge fans—I have a poster of you on my wall!” Neptune stutters harder than that one time he first saw Coco Adel in person.

It takes Blake’s brain to process the events a lot slower than it should’ve. Her ears, all four of them, had drown out the squeals and excitement of her close friends while her eyes zoned in on lilacs that did not pay any attention to her yet. Until they did and recognition never spread faster on the blonde’s face than it did then.

“Oh shit—”

“What are you—” Blake asks the same time Yang curses.

“I can explain!” Yang looks between her and Weiss.

Blake doesn’t see how the girl was going to explain lying to her about a family emergency but instead go to a dinner party with her heiress of a girlfriend. So she yells.

“Wait this is your family emergency?!” Blake’s voice began to raise.

“Uh, wait Babe I can—”

“Babe, what’s going on.” Weiss interrupts, pulling Yang back in.

“Uh—” Yang stutters.

“Babe?!” Blake’s voice shouts as she looks at the arm around Weiss’ waist and her blonde girlfriend’s shocked expression. “Why is she call—”

“Blake, I can ex—” Yang pulls away from Weiss like the girl was fire.

“Yang, what is going on?” Weiss whispers into the blonde’s ear, but Blake could hear fully well.

“Weiss this is Blake.” She whispers hurriedly into the heiress’ ear and Blake does not like that.

“What do you mean—oh my god, _she’s_ Blake?” Weiss realizes. Blake not liking the way Weiss whispered that.

“No shit Schnee. I just said that.” Yang groans.

“Ladies?” Neptune looks between the three girls.

Blake tells herself not to make a scene over and over in her head. She knows at a party this size with the type of guest list of A-listers, a scene was bound to happen, but she highly doubted it’d be from her. Don’t make a scene.

She made a scene. Technically she made a virgin mai tai and strawberry sunrise drink served on a Yang.

“Blake, what is wrong with—” Sun starts but is interrupted by the clicks of heels as she walks away. She doesn’t look back to see Yang wiping the drinks out of her eyes or her friends’ shocked expressions or the ones of the growing crowd around them.

“Blake!” The actress calls out to her but she ignores her.

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.

.

“Oh my Oum, I’m so sorry I don’t know what got into her!” Neptune quickly grabs the towels off one of the dining tables to give to Yang.

“I am so sorry Ms. Xiao Long, Blake’s not the most social person, but she’s not the type to go splashing drinks on others either.” Sun apologizes for his friend’s behavior. Neither pretty boy pick up on the situation.

“Uh…” Yang starts, but Weiss finishes.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it, you two just enjoy your night, I’ll help her get cleaned upstairs.” Weiss quickly handles the situation and pulls Yang out of her daze and up the stairway. Once they were alone in an upstairs bathroom, Weiss locks the door. “Are you okay?”

Yang stares at her blankly. “That was Blake.”

“I think I got that.” Weiss holds back an eye roll, pitying her friend’s new dilemma.

“That was Blake.” Yang says again. “Weiss that was Blake!”

Weiss waters a towel and wipes the red and blue off of Yang’s skin and dabs the stained parts on her dress. “I know!” She shakes the blonde out of her daze.

“Oh God, she thinks I’m cheating on her with you!” Yang struggles. “She’s going to dump me and I’m going to end up labelled as a no-named actress who cheated on her girlfriend with the ice queen!”

“Hey!” Weiss glares at her only for Yang to glare back. “Alright, alright. It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?! My girlfriend is probably crying somewhere about how I’m a big cheater and a liar and at a fancy dinner party with diplomatics and she’s a journalist and—and we’re going to get kicked out and she’s going to dump me and it all because of Columbia-Vegas!!!” Yang shouts, huffing her chest at the end.

Weiss rubs her shoulder and tries to calm her down, but it’s hard to calm Yang down when her eyes are burning red.

“Not that I’m saying your situation isn’t bad, but Columbia-Vegas was nowhere as bad as this.” Weiss says not really helping the situation.

“Still—what are we going to do?” Yang groans.

Weiss sighs. “If one of us is walking out with a bad reputation. It should be me. I got us into this.”

Yang’s eyes soften and revert to their normal purple.

“No. I can’t let you taint your status, there’s a lot of investors here.” Yang rejects.

“And what? I’m not going to let you take the fall for this.” Weiss wrings out the towel over the sink.

“Let’s just see how the night plays out, I’ll try to talk to Blake and you go make friends with old people. Drop the jealous plan—besides I think he’s more into me than you.” Yang laughs for the first time since entering the bathroom.

“Fine by me. We should focus on getting out of this with our statuses in-tack.” Weiss sighs. “You think Blake will understand?”

“I…don’t know to be honest. She knows you’re my friend, but you guys never met so there’s some things to talk about.” Yang rubs her neck. “She’s understanding, but I got to get her to hear me out first.”

A soft knock on the door and in comes their good friend Pyrrha.

“Hello!” Pyrrha waves very Pyrrha-like, holding an extra pair of clothes for Yang. “That was something!” She laughs to lighten the mood.

“Yeah no joke.” Yang mutters. “Thanks Pyrr.” Yang takes the extra set of clothes. It was a simple white sundress. Luckily she and Pyrrha were about the same size, save for the tight chest area, but she’ll manage.

“Alright, I’ll mingle with some investors, Yang you relax Blake, and if we got time—make Neptune jealous! Go team WYP!” Weiss shouts uncharacteristically and marches out the bathroom with Yang and Pyrrha in toll.

“…”

“WYP?” Yang feels her patience being tested once more this night.

“You know WYP like (W)eiss (Y)ang (P)yrrha?” Weiss explains.

“Oh my Oum you’re just as dorky as my sister.” Yang laughs hysterically as she exits the bathroom. Her laughter could be heard even outside the bathroom.

Pyrrha gives her a pitiful smile and a light pat on her back but it doesn’t make the heiress’ scowl go away. If anything it grew.

“I liked it?” Pyrrha offers but Weiss is already making her way out behind the blonde. “Wait…what’s my job then? Guys?—Guys wait up.”

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.

“Blake!” Sun and Neptune catch up to her.

“Blake—what was that back there! I mean I wanna pour drinks on anyone Weiss is dating as much as the next person, but not when it’s Yang Xiao Long, my celebrity girl crush!” Neptune freaks out.

Blake watches as Sun’s expression falls a little at Neptune blatant oblivious self. Poor Sun has been pining over his best friend since they met freshman year of college.

“Seriously Nep? You need to wake up and take a look at the _Sun_.” Blake says trying to lure awareness to the very obvious boy crush. Sun looks at her panicked and shakes his head no.

“What? I’m not the one going around pouring drinks on actresses!” Neptune replies.

“Why did you do that though Blake?” Sun asks avoiding any confrontation on his part.

“She—”

“Blake.” A voice comes from behind. A stupid honey-like voice that Blake doesn’t want to hear right now. Sadly her guesses to whom it was are correct when Neptune instantly lights up like a Christmas tree with two red blubs on his cheeks. She turns around and Yang’s done an outfit change.

“Oh my Oum, Yang Xiao Long—you’re okay right? Blake didn’t mean for any of that—she slipped!” Neptune frizzes and frazzes.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine.” Yang answers awkwardly to the boy’s very awkward behavior. “Blake can I talk to you?...Alone?” Yang eyes the other two guys questionably.

“No.” Blake says. “I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“Blake…” Yang says and the way her eyes fall makes Blake want to reverse her answer and pull the blonde into a closet so they could ‘talk’.

“How about _we_ go talk—like somewhere private?” Neptune suggests instead, but is quickly turned down by the actress.

“Pass.” Yang bluntly puts, her eyes stuck on the cat-faunus instead.  

Luckily for the couple, Sun grabs Neptune’s arm and drags the blue haired boy away for whatever reasons. Leaving the two secret girlfriends to talk. “C’mon dude, read the mood!” Sun mumbles.

“Babe?” Yang whispers to her under the party’s buzzing voices once they’re alone. “I can explain. It’s seriously not what it looks like.”

Not feeling up to it, Blake walks. She doesn’t know where she’s going, but she wasn’t dealing with any drama tonight. Not when Yang should be her date and not Weiss Schnee’s. She didn’t think Yang and her would end so quickly. Actually, Blake honestly thought Yang was the one. So she walks and doesn’t let the tears get to her because she’s got a speech to nail. And she walks and she doesn’t know where in the hell of a mansion she is, but the clicking on the heels behind her tell her she’s not alone.

“Weiss and I are just friends,” Yang explains, following at a safe distance behind her. “She and I are roommates—actually that probably sounds worse.” Yang mumbles the second part and Blake only gets more annoyed. And the more annoyed she was the faster she paces across the empty hallway on the second floor. “Not the point, I know you heard me. Can we stop for a second Blake, just listen to my side?” Yang pleads.

“Look I got a speech to focus on.” Blake replies.

“A speech? You are?” Yang asks a little surprised. She watches Blake’s shoulders tighten and she rethinks her words remembering her girlfriend is stage-fright-ish. “I mean, you’re going to do great. I don’t know what it’s about, but I know you always give 100% of yourself because you really believe in what you believe. Nothing to be shy about. Just think of the audience in their underwear! That’s what I do whenever I have to film lovey-dovey scenes. Except I imagine you in your underwear.” Her tone flirty.

“Actually maybe you shouldn’t imagine them in underwear…or like at least really ugly underwear—like whitey tighties.”

Blake doesn’t turn around, but she does slow down enough for the two of them to think a little straighter. Her posture relaxes, but her cheeks were flushed at the thought of Yang imagining her as her counterpart during romantic scenes. Still, she feels a little more at ease knowing this but she stays silent regarding their current conflict. Yang gets the memo that this is where she begs for forgiveness and explains her actions.

“Weiss did something stupid—long story short— she told her friends she was dating an actress and I sort of owe her for something she bailed me out of a couple years back. Ever since Columbia-Vegas, I promised I’d do her a favor no matter how big or small as long as I could do it: I’ll do it. And well, she called in her favor tonight…” Yang explains. “That’s the story—” she cuts herself off.

It’s like the world wasn’t red anymore and Blake began to see her surroundings again. It was blurry either because she couldn’t stay mad at the blonde for something she was doing to help a friend. Sure, she’s upset that Yang didn’t just tell her about it all in the beginning but Blake realizes she never told her about where she wanted to take Yang this weekend either. Only for her to end up here on the wrong girl’s arm. So Blake turns around to forgive the blonde.

But she’s not there.

It was just an empty hallway full of guest bedrooms and portraits of past mayors on walls between each doorway. It was actually kind of creepy. Like mansion chase in a scooby-doo episode.

“Yang?” Blake asks the empty air. “Where’d you—”

“Blake!” A voice pulls her from the empty hallway to the bright corner at the stairway on the end. “You’re up in twenty minutes, let’s go!” Sun drags her back into the mess of a party.

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.

.

Weiss was talking to an investor from Vacuo about implementing a new SDC factory half-way between the bity and suburbs of New Vacuo. It was a great idea to benefit the new city’s economy and boost her stocks. A win-win most would say. Those aren’t common in the world of business and politics Weiss plays in.

“Ahem.” A female voice clears her throat and taps Weiss’ shoulder.

The heiress is annoyed someone had the audacity to interrupt her conversation with the leader of Vacuo, but when she turns to find silver eyes and a devious grin she couldn’t glare at—she’s confused.

“Weiss, I was wondering if we could dance.” Ruby Rose points with her thumb to the makeshift dance floor.

Weiss looks at her as if she has grown an extra head and excuses herself from the Vacuo leader. She takes that moment to take in the normally cute and adorkable girl, but the redhead was anything but cute and adorkable.

She wore a tight but elegant white button-up tagged with a short summer red and black skirt. The girl wore long boots that wrapped around her legs firmly and boosted her up to almost her sister’s height and Weiss feels her mouth go dry for the first time in a long time. She didn’t think Ruby Rose and hot should ever be in the same sentence, but Ruby Rose is hot.

“Ruby what the heck are you doing here?!” Weiss pulls her aside as if they girl should be hidden from public view with her and Ruby’s eyes drop a little at the way Weiss tries to hide her.

“I—well I was home the other night and…I may have overheard your conversation with Yang?” Ruby pokes her fingers together. Weiss smiles at the fidgety girl. She was still the same regardless of how many laced items she was currently wearing. “So I thought you know—I could totally be a cool awesome show-off-worthy date too!”

“Oh Oum, Yang I forgot to check up on her.” Weiss remembers.

“Oh she’s fine.” Ruby says very sure of herself.

So sure of herself it’s almost too sure and strange if Weiss is being honest.

“Of course she’s fine, but I should really go find her.” Weiss steps away but Ruby pulls her back in—no she pulls her into the dance floor for a slow number. “Ruby what are you doing?”

“Swaying.” Ruby says and Weiss almost recognizes the girl’s familiar confidence to her own sister’s level, well until she speaks again. “I-i-i-it’s w-w-hat you d-do when you dance.” Her cheeks flushes and her eyes not as confident as her actions and Weiss smirks. The girl was like a sheep in wolf’s clothing. “Yang’s fine—stay and dance with me?” She offers her a sly shy grin. It works.

Weiss corrects the girl’s posture, moving Ruby’s hands to a more comfortable part around Weiss’ waist and draping her own hands around behind Ruby’s neck, pulling the younger girl closer.

“If you’re going to seduce me Rose, at least do it right.” Weiss smirks and she knows she’s got the little red under her spell from the way the girl’s silvers dazes in embarrassment.

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.

.

Yang was talking to Blake a second ago. Well she was the only one talking but still, a moment ago she was in the red hallways talking to her girlfriend and now she’s sitting tied against a wooden chair in a supply closet and there’s two clowns—literally clowns—two people wearing clown masks staring at her.

“Oh she’s awake!” A voice says cheerily and Yang notes they’re using a voice changer. “I’ll go get Nor—I mean pinky.” Yang looks at a orange masked clown correcting himself.

The green clown sticks around, just standing at the door with his arms cross.

“What. The. Hell.” Yang mumbles, her brain felt numb.

It only gets worse when a third clown, pinky the pink clown, she notes, walks into the supply closet and now three clowns are staring her down.

“YANG. XIAO. LONG!” Pinky the clown says, an altered female voice. “WE ARE YOUR WORSE NIGHTMAREEEEEE, OFF WITH HER HEAD!”

“Nope—Nor—I mean Pinky, we are not harming Yang!” The orange clown corrects.

“Wimp.” Pink replies.

“Excuse you, I am not a wimp—I prefer the term gentleman.” The orange clown says. Yang just wants to hit them all to be honest.

“Yeah…we’re just supposed to watch her and make sure she doesn’t get back to the party until it’s over.” Green clown talks with calamity.

Yang doesn’t get the idea that she’s in serious danger since she senses these dumbos don’t actually know what they’re doing and the rope around her hands aren’t tied well at all.

“Right! You two watch her, I’ll go check on boss-lady to see if she got Weiss yet.” Pinky says with a teasing tone before she walks outside the closet.

_They’re kidnapping Weiss too? I need to save Weiss and Blake before these clowns get to them._ Yang thinks to herself, suddenly feeling the effects of whatever drug they used on her wear off. She looks around for items to help her fight off the two clowns and really she couldn’t’ see much, just lots of toilet paper and towels.

Still she’ll make something work out. She’s been enough action movies to figure this out. Right?

“Hey OJ your shoe’s untied.” Yang says.

He looks down and notices the untied lace.

_Oh come on orange clown, this is like kidnapping basics 101._ Yang rolls her eyes.

“Oh! Thanks Yang!” He kneels to ground level to tie his shoe but instead his chin is met with Yang’s left heel. Yang kind of dislikes the way he pronounces her name like they’re good friends. Good friends do not dress up as clowns and kidnap her.

He lets out a loud cry and the green clown jumps to position and tries to hold Yang down as she gets up tearing away from the loosely tied rope on her legs. She couldn’t get the rope around her hands off, but she manages to spin the wooden chair around to smash into the green clown’s back as he tries to get a hold of her. That sends him tumbling into the back wall of the closet, effectively dropping a bucket of red paint all over the three of them.

“Shit!” Yang mumbles under her breath as the wet paint spills all over Pyrrha’s white dress. “This is the second dress I ruined tonight…”

“Holy crap she just hit you with a chair!” Orange clown says while holding his chin. Adjusting it in hopes Yang didn’t crack his jaw.

“…call pinky…” The green clown says before he passes out.

She didn’t have a lot of time to think about her next actions. Her hands were still tied, but her legs were free so at least she could run. There was a broom to her right and an orange clown blocking the doorway.

“PINK—oof!”

Yang interrupts him with a knee to the stomach and even cracks a wooden broom on his back, knocking the wind of the fella not once but twice. As he tried to catch his breath, Yang jets and makes a run for it about as fast as she could in heels. Outside in the hallway, she uses a janitor’s broom to lock the two clowns in.

She looks for the third clown, but doesn’t see her. It’s a moment to catch her breath but the moment dies as fast as it comes when the pink clown rounds the corner adjusting her mask back on. Yang couldn’t catch anything from beneath her mask. Nope, she’s focuses on the way Pinky is charging at her. With an axe?

“OFF WITH THEIR HEADSSS!!!” Pinky runs at her.

“Whose’ head it’s just me!” Yang mumbles to herself but she runs.

_RUN FOREST RUN_ , was the only thing Yang could think of as she ran the opposite direction.

She tries to slip off her golden heels to throw them at the pink clown in efforts to slow the axe murderer down, since for some reason a pink clown carrying a heavy axe was just as fast as she was in heels. Just getting them off would help get run faster. But that was proving difficult since her hands were tied.

“YANG XIAO LONG, YOU’RE HEAD IS MINE!!” Pinky calls out to her.

“This is worse than the time Ruby and Nora both had caffeine…” Yang mumbles to herself as she rounds the corner with enough time to pull the heels off. She uses the stiletto to cut a slit into her dress to maximize running efforts. “Sorry Pyrrha.” Sadly not enough time to rip the rope around her hands bough.

“GIVE ME YOUR HEAD.” The pink clown appears suddenly and Yang starts her sprint once more. The run around the mansion in an endless chase for life and heads.

“I’m starting to think you got a head kink. Kinky-Pinky!” Yang really shouldn’t be joking with a kidnapping axe-wielding pink clown in this situation, but heey might as well if you’re going to die to Kinky-Pinky the pink masked axe-wielding clown at a union dinner party.

Speaking of which…

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.

.

“Hey, have you seen Yang?” The heiress asks her moments before her speech about civil rights in Vale.

Blake shakes her head. She tries not to think about stressful thoughts but her girlfriend’s fake girlfriend is asking about her girlfriend. Not stressful just stress provoking.

“Oh. Have you guys talked…did she explain everything to you yet?” Weiss asks awkwardly.

“Sort of.” Blake says, focusing on her small index card of notes.

“What’d she say?” Weiss asks curious.

“Something about doing you a favor because of ‘Columbia-Vegas’. Whatever that means.” Blake rolls her eyes and Weiss thinks they might be likely friends at the sight of eye-rolling. _Eye-rollers roll together_. Oh shut it Schnee.

“Wow she told you about Columbia-Vegas? That was like the craziest night of our lives.” Another girl jumps in beside Weiss, carrying a glass of wine. “Got you some fancy wine I dunno what’s it called but I wrestled a lady for the last glass.” The redhead smiles innocently at the heiress.

“We’re good right?” Weiss asks Blake and in return she receives a curt nod. “Thanks Ruby.” Weiss takes the offering.

Blake looks up from her notecards and at the girl named Ruby.

“Ruby? As in Yang’s sister?” Blake asks, suddenly interested in their conversation. She even straightens up her posture. She’s meeting her girlfriend’s little sister.

The girl beams at her and Blake doesn’t know why really, but her attention makes the girl happier if that’s possible.

“Hi. Yes. That’s me. Ruby Rose, graduated high school at 16, certified engineer at 19, super genius at 21 and—”

“Virgin at 22.” Weiss chimes, making the redhead very red face instead. The heiress even manages to get a laugh out of Blake.

“T-t-t-t-hhat’s not—you don’t understand my vision.” Ruby mumbles the last part.

“Not much to get.” Weiss shrugs.

Blake likes watching the two banter, it was relaxing her and she needs all the relaxing she could get before her speech. She’s not a big important public figure or anything, but her parents were and they gave her the chance to speak a few words on civil rights—something she couldn’t pass up. She just hates public speaking.

“Hey, I got us a table.” Pyrrha joins them. “Hey Blake!” Pyrrha waves.

“Hi.”

“Where’s Yang?” Pyrrha asks, a few conversations behind them.

“She’s fine!” Ruby assures a little eagerly. Not that Pyrrha was even asking if the blonde was okay, just her whereabouts. “She’s probably just eating at that all you can eat table amirite?” Ruby nudges Weiss’ arm but the heiress glares at her touch.

“Right…” Blake says. “If you guys find her, tell her to find me? She kind of just left after explaining everything.”

Weiss and Pyrrha nod in favor. Ruby was distracted by …well everything.

“Same here, I still need her to play her part.” Weiss groans. “I swear to Oum if she’s stuffing her face, I will stab holes into that stupid bike of her’s!”

“Wait—I’m here, why don’t you just use me?” Ruby asks. “I’m like just as great and cool and awesome as her! Plus I share half her blood!” She tries to sell herself.

Blake watches Weiss detach herself from the eager girl only to reject her offer of fake relations.

“If I came here with a blonde but somehow went home with her sister instead? Goodbye Weiss Schnee and hello rumor mill.” Weiss puts into perspective. “Besides, your sister is actually an actress so I’m sure she’s better suited for this than you are.”

“What do you even need her for?” Blake asks.

“The investors turned out to be huge fans of her work, I promised them a picture before the night ends.” Weiss says.

“You’re totally using my sister.” Ruby blows her bangs out of her face. “I’m telling her you said this and then she’ll dump you and then you’re like single and stuff.”

“Ruby, I’m already single.” Weiss deadpans. “And Yang is dating Blake.”

“She probably figured out you’re a horrible person-user! And holy cookies, you’re Blake! Yang talks about you all the time.” Ruby beams. “But, Weiss, you can use me. You know. If you need a certified genius or anything—that’s me. Got my certificate of geniusness in my wallet! It’s pret-ty cooool. Wanna see it?” Ruby asks them.

If it weren’t for the sister’s uplifting smiles, Blake would not see how the two sisters are related at all. Like, at all. Seriously.

“We should really go find Yang, we’ll catch up with you after the speech—” Weiss says.

“MULAN NOO!!!”

“NORA?!??!?!”

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.

“STOP RUNNING!!” Kinky-Pinky calls after her.

“Like hell I’m going to listen to you!” Yang shouts.

If Columbia-Vegas was a 10 on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being more chaotic, than this night was leveling at a solid 5 and a half so far for Yang. It’ll probably a 6 at the least by the end of this marathon. She has to admit, the pink clown was pretty fit to keep up with her while wielding a giant fire axe.

They pretty much made at least two rounds around the second floor of the mansion. At this point, she’s figured out the floor plan. If she can make it to the spiraling stairway, she can make it to the event hall—where hopefully there will be security guards at. She wants to try and figure the situation out on her own, but this is the second dress she’s ruined tonight. There’s paint and alcohol in her hair, there’s red paint all over Pyrrha’s sundress, her hands are still tied, she lost Weiss’ heels, and worse of all—she’s missing Blake’s speech.

“Who the hell hired you to do this anyways?!” Yang questions the pink clown lady.

“Why would I tell you that?!” Pinky the kinky clown replies.

“Because I need to know who to blame when I talk to the cops!” Yang says.

“YOU’LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!” Pinky screams, chasing her.

“You’re the one chasing me!!!” Yang says confused.

“EAT OR BE EATEN.”

“Oh hell no, don’t quote spongebob, you’re ruining the show for me.” Yang complains.

“You ruined it for me when you dressed as sexy Patrick last Halloween!” Pinky argues.

“What the—are you stalking me?”

“More or less?”

She knows around the next right corner is the stairway to safety. Once she makes it there, she can get help and get away from Kinky-Pinky. As much as Yang was bonding with Kinky-Pinky the not-so threatening axe-wielding clown, she just wants to get out of this situation and live to tell her kids of Columbia-Vegas.

When she rounds the corner, Yang sees her golden limelight—the stairway. On her way over, she peers down to the dining room and notices the room of elites wasn’t as loud as it was before she was kidnapped. People were settling into their chairs and she can even spot Weiss talking to…Blake? Wait and Ruby?! And Pyrrha’s hair is really red from here!

When she looks back up, she’s screwed. She’s screwed because orange clown is blocking the stairway and pink clown is behind her and she’s stuck.

“It’s over Xiao Long!” Pinky’s voice gleeful.

“Y-y-yeah.” OJ catches his breath. “We have you surrounded. Sort of?”

“Give up Xiao Long, your dynasty is over!” Pinky walks closer to her.

Yang thinks. She could maybe try and fight off OJ and sprint for the stairs afterwards? Or maybe she if she screams loud enough, the party will notice her dying and they’ll help? Wait, she’d still die. Everything was happening so quickly. The clowns surrounding her made her head spin the event hall around until she couldn’t tell red carpet from red ceiling drapes. Until a Ruby-like idea hits her.

“The Hans will not be victorious, not if I can help it!” Yang references the Chinese Disney princess as she goes over the plans in her head once more.

“What Hans? Can you just come with us—” OJ asks not catching on. “Wait, Yang no, no no get down from there.” Orange clown tells her calmly, waving his hands.

Yang stood atop the stair rail in all her barefooted, paint stained and ripped dress glory. But just like her father tells her; if you’re going to swing on a ceiling drape across a ballroom full of society’s elitist nobles, do it with style.

“Goodbye Shang.” Yang looks at Pinky before she makes the literally curtain jump.

“Wait—seriously Yang, don’t jump it’s me Jaun—OH MY OUM YANG!” OJ says removing his mask, but Yang had realized who the sandy haired boy was a little too late when her feet left the rail and gravity took its toll.

“MULAN NOO!!!” Pinky removes her mask and Yang is met with familiar orange locks and devious blues.

“NORA?!??!?!”

The night, Yang thinks, is probably a solid 7.6 out of 10 on the Columbia-Vegas scale. If she lands in the hospital for this stunt, she’ll bump it up to a solid 8. Until then, she’s thinking positive thoughts and landing options. She tries not to look at her friends, but when she does she couldn’t help but let out a loose chuckle.

Pyrrha looks like it’s Columbia-Vegas all over again.

Ruby’s running away like she killed a man.

Weiss Schnee is gaping.

Blake is going to have an aneurism on the spot.

And is that the monkey-faunus and blue haired dude making out behind the wine tables? Probably.

Blake, Weiss, Ruby, and Pyrrha look up at the double stairway to find a familiar blonde slinging across the ballroom on a loose red ceiling drape. Pyrrha’s dress on Yang was ruined, beat up and slathered in blood?

“Is that blood?” Pyrrha asks, her voice worries for her friend’s safety. “Why are her hands tied??”

“What. The. Actual. Fuck.” Weiss gapes.

“I NEITHER CONFRIM NOR DENY ANYTHING.” Ruby runs away.

“Yang!” Blake cries.

“Ruby why are you running?” Weiss questions the fleeing girl.

“I am not a crook!” And like that, Ruby Rose was gone as she came.

They all stare confused at the hanging blonde, the crowd of tipsy elites paid full attention to the blonde girl hanging on to her dear life as she slings herself from the ceiling to the dancefloor. She didn’t have a clear path of landing but then again these aren’t things you plan for. So she somersaults headfirst into and group of teens on the dance floor, managing to knock just about all of them over.

“Yang!” Blake runs over to her and Weiss is stuck with her mouth open still.

“Is that a clown?” Pyrrha questions, “is she doing what I think she’s doing?” She says as the pink clown dressed girl grabs a hold of the other red curtain.

“Nailed it…” Yang stands up dizzily, clutching her head. Only to get knock back down by the whirlwind that is Nora Valkyrie. “And that kids, is how you—OOF!”

“INCOMING!” Nora swung from the over ceiling drape in her pink clown bravado. It was kind of graceful actually. Even the way she lands on the actress of the night is graceful.

It’s safe to say it was lights out for Yang Xiao Long.

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.

.

“Drive!!” Ruby slams the car door shut.

“We gotta wait for Nora!” Jaune says.

“Wait Plan C says Ren is supposed to drive the getaway car…?” Ruby looks around the inside of Ren’s sedan. She finds a completely knocked out Lie Ren slumped over the back seat row. “Oh my gosh what happened to him?!”

“Your sister cracked a chair over his back and then she beat me up!! I do not owe you for Columbia-Vegas anymore!” Jaune complains. “Where’s Nora??”

“Oh forget Nora, just drive to the closest hospital, I am not responsible for Ren’s medical bills—all complaints can be dealt with by Weiss Schnee—office is 3rd and Main St. SDC room 8001.”

“Why do you know that?”

“Drive Jaune, DRIVE!”

.

.

.

“So Ruby asked you to kidnap Yang so she could crash the party as my date?” Weiss questions the redhead.

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” Nora says.

“That means yes.” Weiss translate with an eye roll.

“Ruby told you guys to dress up as clowns, kidnap Yang, and chase her around with an axe?” Blake questions very annoyed.

“Technically the clown costumes was Ren’s idea. We didn’t kidnap her, we were just ‘babysitting’ her. Plus the axe is fake.” Nora shrugs.

“Right…” Blake sighs. “I’m going to take Yang home. I want to say it was nice to meet you all but—nope.” Blake walks away carrying her knocked out girlfriend.

None of them blame her for that either. They all had different intentions with her girlfriend. Weiss used her status. Ruby planned her kidnapping. Nora role played a cross between Mulan and IT with Yang. Jaune and Ren did the kidnapping. And Pinky probably scarred the blonde for a while.

Pyrrha is best girl. Blake decides.

.

.

.

When she wakes up, sunlight is the first thing she sees. But the first thing she feels is the carpet hitting her face as she falls off the bed.

“Ouch.” Yang groans on the carpet floor. Perhaps she shouldn’t have gotten up so quickly. She blames the headrush for her fall. She doesn’t recognize the floor plan right away, but she knows it’s not her room.

“Yang—are you okay, I heard something drop.” A body rushes into the room, to her side.

The smell of lavender almost offends her nostrils, but she quite likes the scent.

“Blake. Hi.” She breathes the girl in.

“Hey.” Blake offers her a small smile.

“Where am I?”

“My apartment.”

She looks around again and remembers the familiar surroundings. From the photos of Blake and her parents to photos of her friends and even a photo of Yang and her from their second date. She even remembers the lamp in the corner that she knocked over on their third date when she and Blake were drunk and handsy.

“How was your speech?” She gets back up slowly, not to trigger another headrush. Blake helps her, but she manages well on her own. Well enough to pull the brunette into the bed with her.

They land with a soft thud on Blake’s sheets and Yang sinks back into the cozy bed. She uses the new body in bed to cuddle with, snuggling up to Blake’s side and placing her head on the girl’s left shoulder.

“Never got to it. Some girl tried to crash the party as Mulan and her sidekick, Pinky the clown.” Blake laughs realizing now how stupid that sounds coming out of her mouth right now.

“Did you get her number?” Yang winks.

“Yeah.” Blake says as she pulls the cover over them and wraps them into the sheets.

“Planning your first date yet?”

“ _Pinky_ and I are already planning our second date.” She smirks.

Yang laughs.

“Normally I’d be insulted and proud, but honestly—I don’t want to hear anything regarding Kinky-Pinky ever again.” Yang says with a yawn as sleep crawls back into her senses. “At least for the rest of the day.” She mumbles into the faunus’ neck before letting sleep pass her.

“…Kinky-Pinky?”

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.

.

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Nora wins my heart for this shot lol Yang gets an A for effort.
> 
> Hbu?
> 
> DM me a sitcom idea if you got one :)
> 
> Also this series will all be under the same AU


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